Feathers on the Wind

Year of Wrath 1231, Season of Harvest, D.65

     "Child, please," Mother huffed as we climbed up the mossy hill. "I am too old for this, what was so important that we needed to come all the way out here?" She leaned on her staff, needing the extra support.

     "Mother, I told you already, there is a view you simply must see." I said excitedly, my ears flaring out with anticipation. My cheeks flushing slightly.

     "Calm down girl, that's unsightly.” Frowning at my ears, “ So, you've said, but we are getting a bit close to the harpy brood are we not? Chief had said the hag was not happy with us getting so close again. I'd really rather not risk an attack if we have the choice." She tisked back to me. 

     "Oh don't worry about that" Mother looked over at me, her brow raised. Sweat beading on her face as she held her aching back.

     I put my shoulder under hers, and supported her. She wrapped her frail arm around my waist. We continued to walk as she used the staff as a crutch. We had just entered the ancient part of the forest, where the rock wall jutted up out of the ground. I whispered a soft prayer, "Bhal, grant us the strength to withstand the forest's spirit and his tricks." while heaving Mother up the escarpment. 

     "We really should have brought one of the raiders, Daughter." She was breathless as she swung around and sat down. Dangling her legs off the small cliff face, resting her staff in her lap. 

     Sitting beside her, I smiled. "I am a raider, Mother. Just wait, this will be a surprise for you, one that you will not forget."

     I whistled a soft tune, slow and melodic. Ghet had taught me how to mimic the birds in the forest a few years back, before I was allowed to leave the village. I remembered being so curious about the singing birds in the forests around the village, and pestering Ghet relentlessly until he told me everything he knew about all of them. Only this bird song, I added a few personal touches. A few extra notes to fill out the melodies of natural bird song. 

     Mother had flattened her ears against her head to listen, and she hummed along softly as I continued. A wonderful crescendo and then an uplift in octave, a few of the birds I was mimicking fluttered from branch to branch trying to figure it out.  A sparrow, a morning lark, one of those strange little parakeets that had the tail of a hawk. All trying to get closer to hear the sound better.

     The parakeets were the most interesting to me. Their bright colors always stood out to me as they flitted through the dense leaf cover. When they flared their feathers out, they vaguely looked like flowers. Pinned to the trees they added a bit of interest to the otherwise dark green of the tree tops. A nice bit of beauty, I couldn’t help but appreciate them. 

     Soon the whole area around us was starting to gather a few dozen birds. The parakeets were trying to mimic my song, but not quite getting the beat right. Mother had started adding her own notes to it, complimenting the tone. When I had grown tired of my song, I stopped. The birds continued it for me without complaint. I'm sure this would turn into a new call for them eventually. A new song to add to the music of the woods.

     "I didn't realize you had such a call to nature, Ilgor." Mother said, still humming the echo of the song. Bobbing her head in time with the rhythm.

     "I didn't, well not until recently. Caleb had accidentally taught us something while we were drinking with him not too long ago. He had told us to stop using our magic around him, but we didn't know we were using it. Said it was tonal in nature." I kicked my legs back and forth off the edge of the ledge, leaning my head back. "Well, it turns out, we are actually using magic when we speak Mother. Not intentionally anyway."

     "The priestess of old would speak of it from time to time. Though we have had such little contact with the outsiders, that we don't notice it much anymore." She turned to me, leaning in a little "Does it really not work on us? I've never gotten the opportunity to try!" her smile was infectious. 

     "Well Caleb described our magic as something unique to us, to our people. He had said he'd never heard of such an ability before, but described it as somewhat jarring when many of us spoke at once." I smiled thinking back to that moment of camaraderie. "Told us just to imagine our voice as a wave coming from us, and to pressure it with our mind. Well, it worked anyway, I can control it now, I was using it while whistling. I suppose that's why all the birds stayed to listen. They didn’t used to do that, they’d stop for a moment then move on. Caleb said it grabbed people's attention, and kept it there, but didn't force them to stay. It works on animals too." I grinned deeply at Mother, who had a look of pride in her eyes. 

     "Let me try," She said. She pointed to a bird still in the trees, and waved her arm around while speaking to it, it didn't leave. She continued speaking, "Such a lovely coat of feathers you have!" The bird hopped nearer, and she giggled with delight. She started whistling to it, and it hopped nearer still.

     "It really does work! I never knew!" She leaned back and I heard her back crack, smile still radiant on her aged face. A stray ray of sunlight placed itself on her. The sound of far off berating wings was just becoming barely audible.

     The low sound of something bigger, deeper was growing closer now. The gentle wing beats of an owl. The subtle sound of claws gripping a branch, scraping against the moist bark of the upper canopy. Mother jumped when she saw the harpy. 

     "Sh'ril! It's wonderful to see you again!" I opened my arms wide, as I chirped at him. He smiled down at me, in that awkward grimace. He couldn’t quite figure out how to do it right. 

     "Ilgor, no? Why are you in territory? I heard the song again." He said, making everything sound like a question. 

     "Daughter, you know this beast?" She sounded astounded, like this couldn't be possible, visibly growing nervous and angry. 

     "He isn't a beast, Mother." I chided her, "He is as intelligent as you or me, he had overheard me practicing my bird calls one day, and flew over to investigate. Been friends ever since." 

     She only nodded, and returned her gaze to the red feather harpy in the tree, frown never having left. She stood up and an aura of magic emanated from her. "Mother, what are you doing?" I asked her, getting slightly worried. I didn’t know she used her magic much, until I started spending more time with her.

     "Asking Bhal to allow no lies here." She said as the sphere of magic grew to encompass the harpy, who squawked when it finally touched him. Shaking the wings on his back, as he tried to throw off the odd feeling pricking the skin. I could feel it too, like a slight itch.

     "Why are you not attacking us really, vulture." She asked him, frown on her face. The tap of her staff, echoing through the trees. Seems she even silenced the birds around us, I noted.

     His face grew angry, then spoke "She is a friend, she brings food every once and a while. She is always kind to me and the sisters, she's pretty. Why would I attack you? The broodmother may have differing opinions, but I know she isn’t a threat. You however, seem to be a different story." His talons dug deep into the tree branch as he spoke. 

     Mother hummed in a thoughtful tone, "Where is the hag?"

     "Hunting, doesn't know you are here. Only one other sister knows you are in our territory." He pitched his tone up and down, but still lilted upwards at the end of each sentence. 

     "Will she attack us if we are seen?" She pressed on. I could feel the pressure of her magic getting greater. 

     "Mother, what is the point of this? Why are you insulting him?" I asked her, putting my hand on her shoulder.

     She huffed, and didn't answer me. She only turned back to Sh'ril, his avian eyes locked on her. "Why bother with all this, why stay here if we are already here."

     "Already answered you, Mother. Besides, I can't, that foul magic won't let me even change my words. I have to say what comes to mind." He huffed right back. 

     "Anyway, Mother. Sh'ril was supposed to show up when I whistled that song. He is here to show you what I wanted you to see. He has the strength to take us up to one of the tallest trees in the ancient woods. He built a nest up there a few years back, but didn't like it enough to actually use it. I spotted it, and asked about it." I quietly silenced her spell, and it slowly faded from the air, as I distracted her. I could see a sense of relief on the harpy’s face, as the spell melted away.

     She whipped her head back at me, and her mouth dropped open. "So that's what you were talking about when you spoke of a view?" 

     "Yes, I wanted to show you something special, but you wanted to go right to mistrust, and blame. Now I'm wondering if I should even ask my friend here if he'd be willing to help." I really tried to twist the nail into her, most of the clan was like this though. Immediately distrustful of outsiders, regardless of who or what they were. It's just the way they were, it's how we survived.

     She paused, and took a deep breath. Sighing heavily, she said turning to the harpy still perched in the tree. "I am sorry Sh'ril, I am a woman of habit, stuck in my ways. I apologize for questioning you after Ilgor was excited to see you." She dipped her head, and opened her arms in a small bow. 

     There was a long pause as I watched him thinking, his eyes flicking between me and her. He fluffed out the feathers on his chest, in a gesture I was starting to learn meant the same thing as a sigh, "Very well, Mother. I accept." He turned to me, then said "The usual method?" I nodded. 

     She looked over at me, confused and mouthed the words "The usual method?" I only grinned at her, the heavy swoosh of wings as they enveloped both of us. The jerk away from the earth was always the worst part, if you asked me. The feeling of weightlessness, the acceleration as Sh'ril pumped his wings into a straight up flight path. His strong arms gripping both of us around the waists, carefully keeping his talons from digging into flesh. 

     We broke through the canopy in a flurry of feathers and leaves. They danced around us as time seemed to slow as I watched Mother's eye grow wide as the scene unfolded before her. The bright green of the bay gently crashing waves into the bluffs, the clouds rolling through the top of the trees. The harpy landed on a dense platform of sticks, and set us down. He landed a few feet away, looking back out to the bay. 

     A cloud slid slowly past us, humid air filled our lungs. The light went dim as it struggled to filter through the dense mist. After it had passed, looking over at Mother, I saw her lost in the scene. I noticed how old she had become, the canyons through her skin and the rivers that made them. Her faded evergreen hair, still in the tight braid that she had taught me how to do. Her once bright purple eyes, grown gray, dark careworn circles under them. She turned to me, and smiled.

     We sat and enjoyed the view as Sh'ril flew off, he said he'd be back in a little while. The great shadows moved across the bay as the clouds made their way along the sky. The gentle breeze, cresting the waves of the brilliantly emerald tinted waters. We watched as one of the City's great passenger barges passed lazily along the horizon. The canopy of the ancient forest far below us, mimicking the sea, a thoughtful pantomime of waves swaying in time with that same wind. 

     This time of year the wind blew constantly from the north to southwest, while it wasn’t cold yet, the warm bay kept the region hot and humid as the winds crashed against the mountains behind us. The tree top above us offered us shade from the hot autumnal sun. We swung our legs off the edge of the nest like we had on the ledge below us. I couldn't help but appreciate the feeling of being, in the moment, in this time, with the woman that had helped shape me and the clan so much. A brief relief to the constant feeling of exhaustion from my lack of sleep. I was happy to show her something she had never seen before, she was lost in thought, staring out, watching the canopy sway lazily. 

     Smiling, but feeling a melancholy touch my voice, looking down at my feet, I spoke. "We were on a battlefield, the smoke filled the air snuffing out the sunlight.” Mother had turned her attention to me, looking at me from the corners of her eyes, “It turned the sky a hazy blood red. The song of ringing steel all around me, the screaming, the roars of the armies. Only, it felt right, like it was my only purpose of being. At the time I felt such a surety in my soul, that I was absolutely right about my actions. "

     Mother nodded slowly, placing her staff across her legs, looking over at me. "Mine started on a battlefield as well. Just the same, the air filled with hazy smoke, an incomprehensible army at my command. I remember being a raider like you, but the feeling of steel in my hand was… exalting. Was Bhal at the top of the hill? Overseeing the war? " She asked me, with a touch of reverence to her voice.

     "Yeah, he was.” I paused as I relived the memory “Only I didn't realize it was him, I only thought he was the War Chief, a mighty warrior. The sense of pride I had as I fought through that army, it was like nothing else." I felt profoundly uncomfortable talking about my Dream, after that giant... I still felt wrong. Something in my mind just wouldn’t forget the look on that thing's face. 

     But, Mother knew I was uncomfortable about this, maybe not to the full extent. I had spent the last month mostly refusing to talk about the ceremony. Even while she taught me the more complicated tenets of our faith, she would always try and get me to open up about it. She would always say that our experiences in the Dream would dictate what we still had left to learn.

     She smiled at me, and asked me to continue placing one of her weathered hands on my knee. "I had these abilities, things I feel like I could still do! Given time anyway, I was unstoppable. A god's avatar in the flesh," gesturing with my hands, I cupped the air between them, "Power given form and direction, my voice commanded the very air and stone, mind and body. It was amazing!" I trailed off, the moment hung there for a while. 

     "Bhal gifts us that power, gifts us all of our abilities. Our strengths, our confidence, our uniqueness. He is our loving Father, we simply cannot let him down. How could we? He has given us so much.” He grabbed my hand and I looked at the proud face before me, “Just look at you, Ilgor. I’ve gotten to see you grow up, to see what you have become, and what you will do after. You are a strong leader, a phenomenal combatant. You are loving, and thoughtful to all of the family. I simply couldn’t ask more from you, but our journeys won't end, until we do. We must continue on, as Bhal wishes. I can see in you, the potential to reach heights unparalleled.”

     She continued, “In time, I hope you will learn to appreciate his odd way of loving us, he pushes us to challenge ourselves, to make ourselves better." She said, pride in her tone. Pride built by the many years of building our Clan, the strength and prosperity it was now, guiding the many Chiefs in her lifetime to do better. To be the absolute best they could be, she pushed hard.

     I looked down at the empty air between my feet, feeling strange, not quite hopeful but also something else colored that feeling too. Like a dash of paint mixing when you didn’t want them too. I wondered if he would be able to give me that power again. With that, the family would be safe from anything as long as I was alive. No threat was too great, no challenge too mighty to overcome. I could teach the Clan how to use their voices more, I could teach them to be better. A twinge of excitement permeated my soul. Though something still felt off, something out of place, a rock too large at the bottom of a wall so that it always appeared crooked. 

     I sighed, not wanting to talk about that rotten thing, but I felt that Mother would have something to say about it. Maybe she could tell me why I doubted, a lesson to teach me. "I had torn down the city walls with just a touch, just a gentle touch as I made it brittle with my song. Stormed the central cathedral, leading the army closer to victory, for the glory of Father. Only," I paused, shuddering as I saw the giant’s face swim in memory again  "A rotten, hollowed out giant showed up, it towered over everything. It was taller than even the Cathedral Bhal had wanted."

     I turned to her, a sense of awe to my voice "It was covered in eyes, millions of them. Every shade and shape you could think of, all of them looking at me. Looking through me, like I was the center of everything, that nothing else mattered to it. I brought it to its knees and was about to smite it when I noticed my army was gone. Not just gone, but dead, left rotting under the crimson sky. The clouds of flies and the stench of rot.." My voice cracked, I didn't tell her that the giant had made me feel such an immense sense of doubt in my actions, she didn't need to know yet.

     She frowned, but asked me to continue anyway. "I let my guard down, and the giant almost grabbed me, but the great warrior showed up and killed it at the last moment, set it ablaze with just a touch. I felt safe as he held his hand out to me" A faint smile crossed my face, the ghost of a feeling. I lifted my head back up to see that Mother had a worried expression on her face.

     "Is everything alright, Mother?"

     She quickly looked back out to the sea of trees, swaying in the breeze, "It's nothing, Bhal had saved you in the end, just as he had in my dreams." But the worry never left her face, that wasn't what I was expecting. "Our loving Father saw you suffering and rushed to aid you. To help you through your struggles, as he helps us through all our struggles here on the mortal plane."

     She rose from her sitting position and pointed out near the edge of the forest. A great winged bird had reappeared over the top of the canopy, "That must be Sh'ril, let's get going then"

     I got up, and reached for her hand. The frail hand, delicate in my grasp. "Mother, I just wanted to say, thank you for spending this time with me today. It was a lovely view wasn't it?" A big grin that touched my eyes on my face.

     Her worried look melted away, and smiled back at me. "Yes, Ilgor, this was a lovely moment we shared today."

***

     I walked along the soft sand, listening to the waves cresting on the beach. The stars filled the sky with their splendor, like a backlit canopy with holes pinned through it. The bright amber and beryl green nebulas spun slowly in the heavens, the constellations acting out their stories for all to see. The entire scene before me on the dark amethyst sky as their stage. I thought back to what she had told me as I began walking out on the submerged isthmus leading out to the rocks just past the natural break waters. 

     "What was she talking about, a giant with a million eyes?" I combed back in my memory to try and remember if my Mother had mentioned anything about it. I vaguely remembered something about an old legend, a hazy distant memory. Like trying to see through a dense foggy morning, "No, Mother had said she was told it by her Mother, and the one before her." I whispered to myself. 

     I felt a small reef shark swim past my legs, but I paid it no mind. We had learned long ago that the reef sharks weren't interested in us. I continued staring up at the late night sky, walking with my staff clasped behind my back. "Bhal, you never intervened in my Dream? So, why did Ilgor get such special treatment?" I asked out loud. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy when she told me that. I could see that sweet young girl's face swim before my eyes as I thought back to the conversation today. She seemed scared, worried or at least not telling me something. 

     Then again, she clearly had a very difficult ceremony. She still woke up occasionally screaming, flecks of snow pockmarking the air every time. It had gotten so bad last week that Ilgor and Cori had begun sharing a bedroll, so that Cori could quickly calm her down. Several others had taken it upon themselves to watch over her as well. She nearly froze the cave in a blanket of ice last time. She was never aware of what she was doing until she calmed down. 

     Bhal had certainly granted her a deep connection to that magic. "What were the words those humans used, traumatized? Was that the word?  Yes that's the word, she has been traumatized by the experience, hopefully she will grow past this. Then again, she did open up a little today. She outright refused to talk about it at all, until now." I said to the empty night air, I felt the fish scatter as I slowly made my way out on the strip of land.

     The marquee of the clear night sky, silhouetted the breakwaters. Large black rocks that jutted out into the bay. Many years back, the City had attempted to place a lighthouse here in our territory to keep ships from crashing on the rocks still below water. We had made the lighthouse keepers leave with persistent raids on the structure. All that was left now was the foundation. Just barely recognizable now, due to the sea's endless crush, only a square of black algae covered bricks was left.

     I felt I was nearly halfway out to the rocks as I was waist deep in the warm water. The void in the sky at the horizon telling me where the rocks were. "Bhal never intervened directly like that, not in any of my dreams had he just destroyed a problem. He always wanted me to do it, however I could." I repeated to myself. The weight of the water pushed against my legs as I neared the rocky outcrop. 

     "I should start teaching her meditation to help calm her nerves, it certainly helped me. It would also help teach her to put herself in the right frame of mind when drawing on Bhal's power." I muttered to myself, letting one of my hands run over the top of the water as the slope started to rise. 

     I noticed two other figures already sitting on top of the rocks. I couldn't make out what they were saying as their voices were lost in the sound of the waves smacking the rock face. I only kept walking, though it wasn't particularly odd to see anyone out here. It was a popular spot for the Clan to just think, many times I could think of having conversations with various Chiefs and friends out here. 

     "I'm not sure Ghet" I heard Ilgor’s soft voice say.

     "It's up to you, I know you are having a hard time, I understand that. But, you need to grow past this, I know you have it in you." Ghet’s persistent optimism, ever present as ever.

     "It's not that easy, you know. Every time I close my eyes, I see those horrors. It's like they haunt my every move, I don't know what they are, or what they even want." I heard her voice crack, and Ghet put his arm around her "I haven't been able to sleep for weeks, nightmares every night. I appreciate what Cori is trying to do, but I don't think it's helping."

     "It would help if you told us what these horrors are. You talk in your sleep now, you keep saying things like, 'not again' 'where did you go', who are you talking about Ilgor?" the touch of concern in his voice, echoing my thoughts exactly. Though new questions popped into my mind. Horrors? They followed her?

     "No, I'm not talking about that." She quickly snapped. I leaned my back against the rock wall under them, listening to them talk. The rock, still warm from the sun today, a true wonder on my old back. 

     "You sound happy sometimes too, you know. Like there's a break of peaceful dreams in your sleep. You did say a name I'd never heard before 'Vilorlith' is the name you said." Something felt familiar about that name, though I know I had never heard it before. Like something long ago forgotten, or a word said but not understood. 

     "No one ever said their names in my Dream. Are you sure I wasn't just babbling?" Ilgor asked Ghet, I could hear one of them move as their scabbards scraped against the rock. I assumed she had turned to look at Ghet. 

     "Yeah, Yvet heard it too, as we took turns watching over you."

     Looking up at the two, I saw Ilgor lean her head against Ghet's shoulder "I didn't ask you to do that." She wasn’t angry, nor annoyed. It sounded helplessly grateful. 

     "No, but I've known you since you were a little girl, both of us have. We are worried about you, you do know that don't you? We need you back, back to your old self, girl." He ruffled her hair as he spoke. 

     There was a long break in the conversation. The sound of the waves rushing over the rocks in a steady, constant rhythmic pace. A slight wind had picked up, and tossed the smell of the sea higher into the air. It was well past midnight, a few more hours before dawn. It was a perfect night for stargazing though, the moon sitting low on the horizon still, not a cloud in sight. 

     "I think something happened in my Dream than what wasn’t supposed to happen." Her voice breaking the comfortable silence.

     There was a pause, as I assumed Ghet had just gone through several scenarios in his head on how to approach Ilgor talking about this. He always did that, when someone wanted to talk about something emotionally charged. He was like that with me, when I lost my first child. "Why do you say that?" he finally asked, he didn’t turn to look at her, only watched the constellations slowly turn. 

     "Mother, when I talked about it a little today. She got a strange look on her face when I told her about something." 

     "Would you be comfortable telling me about it? I know it is a challenge for you, but sometimes we just need to face the danger and challenge it ourselves." Spoken like a true raider of the clan. She paused and then recounted the Dream with Ghet, without the sense of awe in her voice this time. She only sounded tired, adding more to the story as well. Like how the giant had made her feel small, vile in her actions. Or the horror she felt as Bhal had slew it.

     "So you think this Giant wasn't supposed to be there?"

     "No, Mother looked so worried when I told her about it. I don't really even want to mention the other things now." Her voice grew sheepish and soft as she finished her thought "Those horrors, I keep going on about."

     "But didn't you tell me that there had been some kind strangers in the middle of it?" he sounded genuinely curious, as was I. 

     "That's something I'm hesitant to tell her about, too.” I could hear her struggle to keep talking. Not crying, but exhausted. “Ghet, I just really want to stop talking now."

     Ghet, to his credit, stayed silent. I didn't need to see him to know he held her tighter. I started walking back to shore, and left them alone. I had a feeling that they were going to sit there the rest of the night, while Ghet tried to slowly pry more information out of her. Cori would have done better here, but Ghet was very gentle when he needed to be. I had known him for long enough to know that he was attempting to help her heal from this. That he thought that getting her to talk about the storms in her mind would help.

     He never changed, while one of our best raiders, one of our most brutal combatants, he always had a soft spot for the girls of the Clan when they were upset. I remembered a few times he did the same thing with me, we were much younger, but he always kept that kind heart.

***