Mission 5: "Psy-Fi Guy"

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First Officer's Log, Stardate 3256.7

The Placid is presently investigating reports of a derelict Romulan warship adrift in the Zeta-Vedal system, so far into Federation territory as to be considered pretty damn weird.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
The term I used was "unusual".

And you can say "unusual" in the captain's log.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
I will, later, when I record it in a private location.

Whenever I try that, I end up entertaining a series of visitors.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
I would attribute the blame to your failure to establish and enforce personal boundaries.

...I would like it noted on the ship's recorder, as well as in my own log, that Captain T'Pin has just broken my heart.

Moving briskly onward: I'm looking forward to seeing the Zeta-Vedal system for the first time. Zeta-15 was the destination of record for a transport vessel we were escorting, right up until they abducted our captain—so it's because of the captain that I've never been there.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
If you are attempting to elicit an emotional response from me, then I hope for your sake that your patience exceeds your intelligence.

Okay, that was definitely an insult. –Sylek, back me up on this.

[VULCAN MALE]
Captain, I find myself awkwardly positioned between the two most senior officers on board. May I request to be exempted from taking a side?

[VULCAN FEMALE]
As the commander has made the demand for your opinion, I leave it to her discretion whether to excuse you.

It's fine, lieutenant. Your reaction was as satisfying as the captain's wasn't.

...I've suddenly recalled that our chief engineer has something to show me. I'll just go down and see what that's all about, if the captain will permit me.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
I order you to relocate to Engineering until I summon you.

I have a correction to make to my earlier statement: this is the precise moment at which Captain T'Pin broke my heart.

[VULCAN FEMALE]
Commander...

Leaving the bridge, sir. –End log.

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[[THE FOLLOWING IS FROM THE SHIP'S RECORDER. THE RECORDED PARTIES' NAMES HAVE BEEN ADDED AS ATTRIBUTIONS AFTER THE FACT.]]

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
The terms of the bet were very clear. She didn't say "annoying" or "obnoxious", so you owe me two bottles.

CMDR BECKER:
Oh, don't be pedantic. I get enough of that on the bridge.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Fine. Just so long as you pay up.

CMDR BECKER:
Cross my heart. Now will you show me your super secret project, or do I need to pay admission in Saurian brandy for that, too?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
No, no, it's finally ready and I'm so excited to show you! –Come on out, sweetie!

CRYS:
hel_lo bec com_mander //

CMDR BECKER:
...Is that a flying saucer?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Excuse me–! That is a new design I created especially for Crys. It has both antigravs and a speech synthesizer.

CRYS:
logan made this for me // it al_lows me to speak //

CMDR BECKER:
Neat.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Really? That's all you have to say? "Neat" ?!

CMDR BECKER:
I mean, I'm impressed. I'm just not the prime audience for feats of engineering prowess. I don't have the kind of appreciation for technology that you do.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
You're no fun.

CRYS:
would you like for me to tel_l a joke ///

CMDR BECKER:
Wow. It tells jokes, too?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
If that's what it takes to impress you, I might cry.

CMDR BECKER:
Go on, Crys, tell me a joke.

CRYS:
why are vulcans not afraid of the dark ///

CMDR BECKER:
Tell me.

CRYS:
because logic is il_luminating //

CMDR BECKER:
Did you teach it that?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Kind of. I've let it go through the computer banks. It picks up on the strangest things.

CMDR BECKER:
Kids are like that, I hear.

CRYS:
did you not enjoy my joke bec com_mander ///

CMDR BECKER:
I did enjoy it. What else can you do?

CRYS:
i also know how to sing // 

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Don't believe it, Bec.

CMDR BECKER:
Let's hear it, then.

CRYS:
## twinkle ## twinkle ## lit_tle ## star # /

CMDR BECKER:
Thank you, Crys. That's plenty.

CRYS:
you are welcome bec com_mander //

CMDR BECKER:
Okay, I'll admit it: I'm extremely impressed that you created a way for Crys to move around and to communicate with so much pizzazz.

CRYS:
is piz_zaz_z a desirable quality ///

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Absolutely, sweetie!

CRYS:
then i am hap_py to have piz_zaz_z //

CPT T'PIN:
Bridge to Engineering. Commander Becker and Lieutenant Commander McLaughlin, the salvage party is convening in the shuttle bay.

CMDR BECKER:
My long exile is at an end!

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
You've been here three minutes.

CMDR BECKER:
Last one to the shuttle bay is a tribble!

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Start purring, then, 'cause I know all the shortcuts!

CRYS:
i wil_l ac_company you bec com_mander //

CMDR BECKER:
No, you– Actually, sure, why not? Logan didn't order you to stay, did she?

CRYS:
she did not bec com_mander //

CMDR BECKER:
I'm not your boss. You can just call me "Bec".

CRYS:
thank you bec //

CMDR BECKER:
God, you're cute. Let's go.

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First Officer's Log, Supplemental:

Having reached the derelict Romulan vessel, the Placid has sent a salvage party via shuttlecraft to investigate. We must determine whether the warship is truly derelict, what remains aboard, and how the ship came to be so far from home.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
what are you doing bec ///

I'm recording my log.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
is it not customary to /

Sweetie, whatever you're about to say, somebody else has already said it.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
understo_od bec // i wil_l not inter_rupt again //

Don't sweat it, honey. Even the captain does it, so I've pretty much resigned myself to it.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
You said you didn't care that Crys likes me more, and yet here you are, flirting!

That's a funny way to pronounce "teaching your subordinate about the difficulties of being first officer".

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
bec said that i am cute // do you agre_e logan ///

[HUMAN FEMALE]
See? Flirting!

It's not my fault you don't know its love language. Now, if it's not too much trouble, would you go do your actual job?

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Rude. I've already done a preliminary survey. It looks like the Romulan crew disconnected or destroyed all the major equipment, but we should be able to get at least some of it jury-rigged for diagnostic purposes.

I'll take your word for it. –Crys, why don't you give Logan a hand with that? ...Is that a phrase you understand?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i understand // i do not ne_ed hands to lend a hand //

You're doing great, sweetie.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
C'm'on, Crys. I need your help detecting power leaks.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
yes logan // go_odbye bec //

Bye! –Continuing: as Logan noted, the ship seems to have been deliberately disabled and abandoned, rather than damaged in battle or by accident. There's some urgency evident in the somewhat haphazard destruction. Some pieces of equipment have been partially dismantled, some have been shot with energy weapons, and ...one seems to  have been bludgeoned with some kind of hammer. Whatever did the job, I guess.

This ship is definitely on the cozy side. Not much in the way of amenities, hardly any elbow room... They must be highly disciplined to be able to function in such close quarters without killing each other. Being six inches away from me all day long would inspire homicidal impulses even in our Vulcan cap–

[UNIDENTIFIED]
This is mutiny! Traitors! You cannot–!

Who's there?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i am here bec //

Shfh– Crys, don't sneak up on me like that! Why aren't you with Logan?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
logan requested that i return to inform you of her findings below //

It's been two minutes. What did she find?

[UNIDENTIFIED]
You have my orders, centurion.

Who–? –Did you hear that?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
if you are refer_ring to the voice i did hear that //

Where'd it come from?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
it is psionic energy resonating with the crystal ar_ray in my spe_ech synthesizer //

...Run that by me again.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
there is psionic energy in our present location // it is not very strong but it is amplified by the ar_ray which was made to focus my energy //

Wait. Are you telling me that your little flying saucer doubles as a ghost radio??

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i do not know how to cor_relate your question to my statements but i think the answer is yes //

Back on Psi Secundus, when we heard those voices that came from nowhere and weren't always clear, was that amplified psychic energy as well?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
yes // there was residual psionic energy in the research station as wel_l and a significant amount of crystal // the amplification was incidental and unfocused which would ac_count for the inconsistencies //

I take it you can't feed on that kind of energy.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
cor_rect // it was the ac_cumulation of psionic energy that final_ly alerted me that the life forms i had be_en consuming were sentient and sapient //

I see. We know you weren't aware of that before.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i am sad_dened when i think about the cost of my ignorance //

That's pretty rough—but keep that feeling in the back of your mind so you remember to do better.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
logan told me to forget it but i can_not // your advice is more helpful in this mat_ter //

Logan's an incredible engineer, but she'd make a terrible therapist. –Hey, didn't you come here to tell me what Logan found? That psychic thing really took over the conversation.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
oh yes // logan told me to tel_l you that she found a body //

What?! –Crys, when the report involves a dead body, lead with that!

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i am sor_ry // i wil_l remember your instructions //

Jeez. If I hadn't known Logan was your first teacher, this would've tipped me off.

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[[THE FOLLOWING IS FROM A TRANSCRIPT OF THE SALVAGE MISSION LOG. THE RECORDED PARTIES' NAMES HAVE BEEN ADDED AS ATTRIBUTIONS AFTER THE FACT.]]

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Finally! What took you so long??

CMDR BECKER:
Ghosts.

CRYS:
it was my fault logan //

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
What, did you cause ghosts to appear or something?

CRYS:
in a man_ner of speaking //

CMDR BECKER:
I'll explain later. Let's see that body you found.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
We've confirmed it's a Romulan. It looks unsettlingly like a Vulcan.

CMDR BECKER:
Hmm. Yeah, the ears and eyebrows are definitely similar. Not quite as good-looking, but maybe this one isn't a particularly fine example—or our Vulcans have set my aesthetic standards too high.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
For gods' sake, Bec, just ask the guy out. Everyone's betting on when you'll get around to it.

CMDR BECKER:
See, I didn't want to know that, and now I know it, and now I'm sad.

CRYS:
explain ///

CMDR BECKER:
Irrelevant to you, sweetie.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Or is M'Zeel right? Is your heart set on the captain?

CMDR BECKER:
Can we please just focus on the corpse??

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
So far, no one's bet on necrophilia.

CMDR BECKER:
Logan, you— We are not discussing this in front of Crys.

CRYS:
logan please do not make bec uncomfortable // i can only be hap_py because of her //

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Okay, fine.

CMDR BECKER:
Wait, what– no, never mind, time to focus. How did the Romulan die?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
I'm not a pathologist, but there's something about the way his neck is twisted that makes me suspicious.

CRYS:
excuse me // i have relevant information to share //

CMDR BECKER:
Please share it.

CRYS:
the psionic energy we encountered earlier originated from this body //

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
The what now?

CMDR BECKER:
We heard a voice like the ones on Psi Secundus, and Crys told me that it's psychic energy being picked up by the crystals in the speech synthesizer.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Oh, really? That explains some things I was wondering about.

CMDR BECKER:
Seriously? Nothing I just said struck you as remotely weird? It sounds like some mumbo-jumbo a bad writer would come up with!

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Shush. –So you heard this Romulan's voice? What did it say?

CRYS:
\\this is mutiny\\ and \\you have your orders\\ were the primary sentences //

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
So I guess this guy was their captain.

CMDR BECKER:
Either he ordered them here and was killed for it, or he was killed so that they could come here. Whichever it was, the crew made sure we couldn't find out from their records.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
We still don't know what happened to the crew. The ship must've been cloaked all the way here, otherwise we would have discovered it long before it reached Zeta-Vedal.

CMDR BECKER:
Any sign of escape pod docks or a shuttle bay?

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
None of the above. They're one of those cultures that doesn't believe in strategic retreating.

CRYS:
maybe we could learn more from the psionic energy that remains //

CMDR BECKER:
There's more?

CRYS:
yes bec // back where we encountered it before //

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Let's go, then! I wanna hear this guy's last words!

CMDR BECKER:
Logan, you're demented.

LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN:
Truuue.

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First Officer's Log, Supplemental:

We are continuing our exploration of the abandoned Romulan ship by hunting for ghosts. –Don't make that face, Logan. It's close to the truth, and more fun than the technical explanation.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
the highest concentration of psionic energy is next to this console //

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Try flying around in that area until you pick s–

[UNIDENTIFIED]
–not my intention to return empty-handed from–

Keep moving, sweetie. There might be more, and we need as much information as we can get.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
i wil_l ke_ep investigating unles_s you tel_l me to stop //

[UNIDENTIFIED]
–cannot believe you would even suggest dis–

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Go back to where you were when that started.

[UNIDENTIFIED]
–not mere disobedience but complete betrayal of our people! This cannot be countenanced. I would sooner kill you all than–

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
my apologies // the energy has dis_sipated //

That's okay, sweetie. Now we know that, whatever their orders were, the crew refused to go through with them. They may have killed the captain in self-defense.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
That still doesn't explain where the crew went, or why all the equipment was destroyed.

...I need the exact coordinates where this ship was first detected—and a map of this system.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Wait—are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Only if you're thinking that the crew beamed down somewhere in this system after breaking everything on board.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
That's approximately what I was thinking.

Good. Do me a favor and don't fill me in on anything else you were thinking.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Look, I need to keep weird things in mind so the Tadis won't try to read it.

I guess that's a semi-reasonable fear. Let's head back to the Placid and figure out where the lost Romulans are.

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[[THE FOLLOWING IS FROM A TRANSCRIPT OF THE PLANETARY MISSION LOG. THE RECORDED PARTIES' NAMES HAVE BEEN ADDED AS ATTRIBUTIONS AFTER THE FACT.]]

CMDR BECKER:
So this is Zeta-15. It's... fine.

LT CMDR LENNOS:
It's unpleasant. We're sure this is really a Class-M planet?

CMDR BECKER:
Class-M means livable, not ideal. It's definitely not where I'd build a vacation home.

LT CMDR LENNOS:
It looks like they crossed the swamp here. They left deep footprints—must be loaded down with supplies.

CMDR BECKER:
Yuck. These boots are going straight into the matter reclamation unit when we get back.

LT CMDR LENNOS:
Don't look now, but there's a bug the size of your head resting on that leaf.

CMDR BECKER:
I refuse to accept the existence of a bug that big. Unrelated: let's hurry further ahead immediately.

LT CMDR LENNOS:
With pleasure, sir.

CMDR BECKER:
[...] We'd better beam up from here instead of backtracking. –Do those look like Romulans to you?

LT CMDR LENNOS:
Well, they don't look like big bugs, so I'd say the odds are good.

CEN PITRA:
Halt! No closer!

CMDR BECKER:
Whoa, whoa, easy there—I'm putting down my phaser, so put down your disruptors.

CEN PITRA:
Weapons down. –I am Centurion Pitra, formerly of the warship Dactyl.

CMDR BECKER:
Commander Lois Becker of the USS Placid. This is Lieutenant Commander Lennos.

CEN PITRA:
Permit me to ask whether you are both of the same species.

CMDR BECKER:
I'm human. The cute one is an Andorian.

CEN PITRA:
No offense was intended. Neither I nor my subordinates have had prior opportunity to see either of your species in person.

CMDR BECKER:
I'm afraid our first opportunity to see a Romulan was aboard your vessel.

CEN PITRA:
You found the Dactyl? What was its condition?

CMDR BECKER:
Just as you left it: unsalvageable.

CEN PITRA:
I do not understand. What happened to the ship?

LT CMDR LENNOS:
You really don't know?

CMDR BECKER:
Don't let her fool you, Len. I've played poker with the captain before. The centurion has a similar tell. –See? She knows it, too.

CEN PITRA:
In the absence of proof to the contrary, you have little choice but to accept my word.

CMDR BECKER:
Go on, tell me your cover story.

CEN PITRA:
We had experienced a malfunction that caused our ship to accelerate suddenly and carried us off course. By the time we regained control, we had crossed into Federation territory. Commander Rarat ordered us to beam down here for our protection while he attempted to effect repairs. That was the last time we saw or heard from the Dactyl.

CMDR BECKER:
That's a fantastic story. There's only one problem: we've seen your Commander Rarat's body, and we've learned that his death was not accidental. Someone shot him in the back.

NORAK:
You're lying! He wasn't shot—his neck was snapped!

CEN PITRA:
Norak, be silent!

CMDR BECKER:
That's exactly what happened. Seems like you know a fair bit more than your centurion about the fate of the Dactyl.

NORAK:
Centurion... For my faults, I deserve death.

CMDR BECKER:
That would be a tragic waste of all the trouble she's taken to keep you alive. She killed her own commander.

CEN PITRA:
...How could you know that?

CMDR BECKER:
Because I understand you. When I said I'd been aboard your ship, you didn't ask about your commander, so you must have already known he was dead. You're the ranking officer, I assume, so you would of course take responsibility for protecting your crew—and you disabled your ship rather than try to return to Romulan space, so you must have committed a crime that could not be forgiven by your government.

CEN PITRA:
I am not obliged to confirm or deny any of your suppositions.

CMDR BECKER:
I'm hardly an expert on Romulan psychology, but my best guess is that you all had resigned yourselves to a life in exile. Maybe you knew that Opuni Vedal is uninhabited. Maybe it didn't matter—it was habitable, it was there, and you could make a life for yourselves here, one way or another. As long as you're still alive...

CEN PITRA:
I request that you discontinue theorizing.

CMDR BECKER:
There's only one thing I haven't quite figured out. Your commander gave you orders you couldn't follow—not merely difficult, not merely distasteful, but completely impossible for you.

CEN PITRA:
Commander, for the sake of my crew...

CMDR BECKER:
I suppose you're all exhausted. We'll be taking you into custody, but you won't be mistreated. –Len, take the crewmen. The centurion and I will follow in a moment. –If you don't mind, centurion.

CEN PITRA:
Not at all. –Go with their sub-commander. No matter what happens, maintain your moral code and your dignity.

MINARA:
Always, centurion.

KELITH:
We hear and obey, centurion.

LT CMDR LENNOS:
Placid, six to beam up. The commander will beam up separately.

CMDR BECKER:
[...] You have a good crew. How long have you been commanding them?

CEN PITRA:
Long enough. I will tell you what you wish to know so long as you guarantee the safety of my crew.

CMDR BECKER:
I'll do everything within my power to protect them. Now, what was your mission?

CEN PITRA:
We were told that we would be conducting covert surveillance within Federation systems for several months.

CMDR BECKER:
Then your commander switched it up once you reached this system.

CEN PITRA:
He revealed that our true orders were to target civilian shipping and transport vessels. It is unworthy for Romulan soldiers to attack unarmed civilians, regardless of affiliation. My crew could not stomach the thought, but we had no grounds on which to challenge his authority.

CMDR BECKER:
But your Mr. Norak tried anyway.

CEN PITRA:
Your analysis is uncanny. Indeed, he made a noble attempt, and was attacked for it. I had to make a choice in an instant.

CMDR BECKER:
For what it's worth, I believe you made the right choice.

CEN PITRA:
I appreciate your saying so. May I ask what will be done with me?

CMDR BECKER:
Let's go up and find out, shall we? –Becker to Placid. Two to beam up.

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First Officer's Log, Supplemental:

We are towing the Romulan ship Dactyl to the nearest starbase. Its loyal crew did quite a number on its equipment, but maybe the engineering corps can make something of the wreckage.

Our Romulan guests have been exemplary. They clearly adore their centurion, and she would do anything for them. It's an encouraging sign that there are good people, the kind who would risk everything for her crew, even on the other said.

Zeta-15 is awful, by the way. I'm glad those kids won't be stuck there for the rest of their lives. Even ten minutes–

And there's my interruption, right on schedule. –Come in.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
hel_lo bec // logan told me that you have a question for me //

Oh, yeah, I'd almost forgot. You said something weird on board the Romulan ship... something about me being the reason you can be happy...?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
that is cor_rect bec // my first contact with you showed me an emotion i had never encountered before // that emotion al_lowed me to understand and con_nect with corporeal beings //

Really? I can't even remember what I was thinking or feeling.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
it was concern // you were wor_ried about the yeoman the crew and the ship // it was enlightening //

...Really?

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
yes bec // your emotional con_nection to others al_lowed me to understand that it was pos_sible // when you reached for me i realized that it might be pos_sible for me as wel_l //

That's... Wow. I had no idea.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
and now i have learned about joy and humor and music // i have learned about hap_pines_s and i can fe_el it to_o //

I'm really glad you got to learn so many good things. ...I thought maybe there was something about my energy that put you off.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
no bec // you have very go_od energy //

Thanks, sweetie. That's good to know.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
There you are, Crys! I've been looking all over for you!

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
but you told me that bec /

[HUMAN FEMALE]
You can't just leave without telling me! I was worried you'd got lost in the Jeffries tubes or your antigravs had failed or– or–

Logan, calm down. You can't just barge into my room and start yelling at my godchild.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
Don't tell me wh– Wait. Godchild?

Yeah, I've decided that Crys is my godchild now. I'm the one who helped Crys become part of our crew.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
That's ridiculous. Crys, tell her that's ridiculous.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
logan may i please be her godchild /// it would make me so hap_py //

[HUMAN FEMALE]
...Fine, sure, if it makes you happy. Now come back to Engineering with me.

[CYBERNETIC NONBINARY]
thank you logan // i wil_l return with you // bye bec godmother //

Bye, sweetie. –Logan, next time you come in without knocking, I'm not speaking to you for a month.

[HUMAN FEMALE]
You wouldn't... You would. I'll knock next time. Byyye.

Shoo. [...] That was a pleasant surprise. I guess it makes sense that Crys would feel my emotions. They didn't really understand corporeal beings before that, so... they wouldn't have had any idea that there was anything physically abnormal about me.

[...] I might ask Len to put a stop to the betting. It's not that it bothers me—it's just unprofessional.

I'll sleep on it. –End log.

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